Sunday, July 20, 2008

Sonnet Sunday

Per my mom's request I'm going to include more "how this poem came about" before each Sonnet Sunday. Ok, maybe not each one. Some I may have to just throw out there and you the reader will have to wonder why I wrote it or who I wrote it about. This edition of Sonnet Sunday was written after I moved to Boston. See, when I was just a little girl I fell in love with a little boy that lived in Connecticut. I got it in my head that when I was out of highschool I would travel across the US and go to college in CT. Financially that didn't work out and said boyfriend dumped me anyway. Two years later when I was a much older and wiser 20 year old I knew that I still wanted to live on the East Coast. So, I sold most of my stuff and headed out to Boston knowing not a single person and not a single street. Aside from my trip out to find a place to live and a job I had never been there before. As you can imagine, most everyone thought I was crazy. There was not a ton of support, mom excluded...she was always very supportive. To this day moving out there was one of the best things I ever did in my life. This poem was written when I got there.

Surviving


Surviving alone,
truding through a wilderness
that I created.
Familiar streets,
faces,
friends
left behind.
All for a journey
into my identity,
my purpose.
Trudging on, for what?
What reason?
If I gave you a reason,
would it satisfy you?
Show you the view from my eyes.
Or, lead to reasons of your own.
Tell me the risks.
Tell me the problems.
Tell me the mistakes.
Only to turn the mirror on you.
Reflect the mistake,
living a life of what ifs.
What ifs,
What if.
What if I were a boy.
Would you support me?
Encourage me?
My rite of passage into manhood.
Instead, just a foolish girl
who struggles on.
Shaping a life.
Shaping my own destiny.
Show me the faults in that.
Continuing down the path,
myself,
my will power,
my independance
guiding the way.
Opening my eyes to prospects of change.
Change for the better?
Change for the worse?
I just want change.



1 comment:

Sarah said...

I love it! Reminds me of when I moved to NYC when I was 22...I only knew one person....my ex (and he was my ex at the time)! Weird being in such huge cities and feeling so alone isn't it?!

SO glad I did it though, never ever regretted it.

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