Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Yep, you read that right. This is going to be one of those rant posts. They haven't happened too often but right now I'm pent up and you are my audience. Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and have entered frustration. I'm tired and sore and cranky.
Sleeping right now sucks, and yet it's all my body wants. When my head hits the pillow I'm out, like drugged out of my mind into the deepest slumber possible. It doesn't feel like good sleep, it feels like drugged sleep. I wake up an hour later to turn over because at this point my hip hurts so bad it's radiating down my leg. It takes up to what feels like 2-3 minutes to roll over. Then I'm right back into drugged sleep. This wake up every one to two hours continues through the night. Sometimes it is just to roll over and other times getting up to pee is involved. I never feel rested, I feel beat up, drugged and sore. Oh, throw in the fact that my throat and nasal passage hurts terribly from the snoring that I don't even know is happening and it makes for one happy woman.
Then I start thinking about sleep after the baby comes. I start thinking about the people that keep saying, "Get all the sleep you can now, cause when the baby comes...blah blah blah." I'm sorry if you are one of them...but right now I want to punch those people in the face. I feel like I would trade sporadic sleep that doesn't hurt for what I'm getting now. I'm frustrated and grumpy because I'm in pain. I know I'm going to be tired when the baby comes, I get it. Problem is I'm tired now so it's not like if I "get all the sleep I can now" I'm going to be able to bank it for later.
I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and there has been absolutely no progress. So, here is what the schedule looks like:
Due date: May 6th
Next Dr.'s Appoint (if baby doesn't come): May 11th
Probable induction date: May 12-13
This lets more flood gates of opinions open up. You don't believe in induction and think the baby should just come out whenever it's ready? That is super awesome of you and I'm so glad that worked for you. There are others that wouldn't agree because that's NOT what worked for them. Point of fact is, we're all different. I know women have been doing this forever....I know our bodies are "made" for this. I also believe that while our bodies are made for this some are made for it better than others. How is mine made? I have no f'ing clue because I've never done this before. While I appreciate the encouragement, I decided at the beginning to not set a specific birth plan. I decided that my birth plan was to come home at some point with a baby, cause that's really what the whole point of this is right? Do I hope that it happens on it's own? Yes. Do I hope that I can do it without drugs? Yes. Am I going to cry myself to sleep at night if I have to be induced or if I end up with a c-section because it somehow makes me less of a woman. No.
Right now what I know is that I've spent the last 9 months putting 100% faith in my doctor. She is someone I like, she is someone I trust, she is someone that I admire. While I'm not going to follow her blindly off a cliff, I am going to continue to put my trust in that what she is recommending is valid. I'm going to take those opinions she has, think about them, talk to my hubby about them and make a decision about what I want to happen that is RIGHT FOR ME.
So, there is my big ranting bitchy pregnant woman post. Like I said before, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and while sometimes they are super helpful...there comes a time when all of the opinions can drive you up the wall. This is the first time around for me and I won't have any solid opinions on it till it's all said and done with. One thing I will remember though is those opinions and beliefs are based on my experience alone, and everyone is different.
Stepping down off soap box now before I fall and hurt myself even more.