Leyton and I have a great time together. I try to spend as much good quality time with him as I can when I'm not working. This past weekend his daddy went fishing so we had an event filled day. We started with pancakes at Black Bear diner, then headed to Funderland to "ride some fun", then the zoo and then the pool. Each moment was absolutely enjoyable. It was the kind of stuff I always dreamed about when thinking of having children.
It's the challenges I wasn't prepared for. It's not that I thought it would be a piece of cake, I just thought being a mom would be easier. I thought I would be a natural at it. I grew up baby sitting. I spent most of my life taking care of other people's children so of course I would be excellent at taking care of my own.
The thing is, it's not as easy as I thought it would be. In fact there are times I just want to be alone. To hide and pretend like I'm the only person that needs taking care of. The thing is though, I know I'm an excellent mother. I know I do my best and give my everything into raising this kid. What makes me an excellent mother too is knowing that I don't have to like it all of the time.
Leyton loves to push my buttons. At times I wish I had gone into child psychology so I could understand more why he does this. On many occasions I have been told, "Wow, Leyton is nothing like this when you aren't here." When I am present though it's test after test. He's trying to see how much he can get away with. He ignores me. He does the opposite of what he is told. Before children I would have looked at a child doing this and I would have thought that the parent was letting the child get away with too much and thus the child had learned that all they had to do is act up. Thing is, I don't. In fact, I'm the stricter parent. I don't let him walk all over me and yet every day he tries to. Is it the "terrible twos?" What does that even mean? Is he just an independent spirit? Do I not give him enough stimulation? ARGH!
I'm not one to listen much to what "they say" but man if anyone has any tips here I'd love it. Any books that you've read that you found helpful? Or, do I just suck it up and keep charging on in the hopes that it will get better. In the hopes that the tests will stop and we will get to a place where we have more moments of this....